Unintentional Experiment

Maya had been begging to 'borrow' another movie from Blockbuster.  She had a royal fit the last time we rented a movie and had to return it.  Basically, she doesn't get this renting movies thing.  However, she had been asking so we went by Blockbuster.

As is fitting, Maya chose a Barbie movie and Bambie which she had never seen.  This is when the unintentional experiment began.

At the check out counter I stood holding Owen while Maya handed our chosen movies over when the clerk questioned one of my choices.  I had not even heard of the movie so I was easily swayed.  The clerk's next question startled me. 

Holding the movie I chose he asked,"Is this for you and your husband to watch?"  That morning I had forgotten to put my wedding ring on after my shower.  Of course people assume I am married when I wear it but at that moment I realized that just having my young children with me causes others to assume I have a husband. 

I just stood there for a minute and could immediately tell the clerk was alarmed.  Lacking social graces these days, I blurted out "I don't have a husband.  He's dead."  Yikes!!  The clerk flushed, apologized, back peddled, offered condolences.  I apologized profusely and told him not to feel bad.  Really, I could have just said no,I don't have a husband, but I was not expecting the question and just blurted out perhaps an blatantly, inappropriate answer. 

This conversation took place in the wake of an equally unappealing question at the doctor's office.  The check-in line was long because of a new computer system.  When it was my turn, the first question I was asked was  "What is your marital status?"  Once again I was silent long enough that the receptionist looked up at me.  I weakly smiled and said "Widow."  As she saw my mouth open, she looked down at her computer to record my answer but sharply looked up at me before striking a key.  And she said "What?"  I suppose I could have stated that I was single; that would have been an easy way around the answer however I am not quick on my feet these days.  I told her I am indeed a widow and she finally looked down to record my answer, flushing from her own faux pas.

I know people are well intentioned.  I know that I am indeed young and my being a widow is abnormal.  I know that people are going to ask and be shocked.  I know that this will not be the last conversation I will have about widowhood. 

Simply, I hope it becomes less painful and more easily anticipated.