Last night I read two separate entries addressed to Chris...both brought tears to my eyes and made me angry.  I wasn't angry because he is gone and I miss him.  I was angry because both of those people can and have felt Chris.  I feel like his presence is absent still and that horrifies me.

Chris' laughter and energy filled our house.  Now the empty spaces are are difficult to avoid.

The depressing aspect right now is that I am not overwhelmed by Chris' death.  Instead I am longing to be a normal person. 

Right now, I'm exhausted and want to remember what it was like living among the non-widowed.