Rings & Closets

Yes, I have stopped wearing Chris' ring around my neck. 

It started with the necklace bugging me.  I don't usually wear necklaces and eventually was distracted by it.  Eventually, I just stopped. 

My wedding ring...  I feel very self-conscious of this one. 

One day I was cleaning the kid's bathroom and, as I always do, I took it off to scrub everything.  That day...I forgot to put it back on.  The next day...I forgot again.  I finally took the time to put it back on four days later and it was like putting on a pair of shoes that just don't fit right.  Weird....I hadn't intended to stop wearing it.  I wanted to continue wearing it.  I wore it for most of the day but then took it off again, distracted by the fit.  I was not ready for that moment when it didn't feel right and I am perplexed why now.  I figured it would be awhile out and that it would be a very conscious gesture, not just a random side note.  I cannot decide how I feel about it.

My second major step is that I cleaned out Chris' drawers and closet...

I had been thinking about it for several days and finally woke up Wednesday morning and decided I needed to do it.  Though it is Chris' stuff...it is stuff.  It is stuff very important to me but I needed to sort through it.

In the end, I sorted the clothes into bins of items significant and important to me, things he treasured and things that were just 'other' items.  The treasured items are in the cedar chest in my room.  The things important to me are in a bin.  The 'other' items are also in storage bins.  I don't plan to donate them quite yet, but I did move them to the garage.  The first night I thought for sure I would find myself hanging them all back up.  It's been two days and tonight I reorganized my closet and moved some of my stuff out to the main closet.  I am sure this is adding to my state of mind issues.

Deep breathing.