Between the painting, hanging of light fixtures and filling holes from old fixtures, I was singing The End by Pearl Jam today. It's not my favorite song by Pearl Jam though a few of the lines ring true to me right now. I can almost hear Chris telling me he just wanted to grow old. I never, even in my wildest, 'worst case scenario' dreams, would imagine that Chris would not get to grow old with me. The curtain closed after the first act...
Yesterday I went to Lowe's to pick up a new light fixture, check out bathroom counters and find light switch covers and instead I pulled in to the parking lot and had a good cry. The store is a 7 or so minute drive from my house and as I was driving across the trestle, Three Little Birds came on my IPOD. It made me smile. Some how that smile transformed into irritation and sadness by the time I parked my car; I was just mad. It should have been Chris' job to go to Lowe's on his way home from work, not mine.
Today I dove into my bathroom remodel project thanks to a great sister in law who took Maya to the bounce house and my parents who wrangled Owen. It was cathartic. Yes Brent, I painted. No flooring yet and no Roth IRA but there is paint!
Good for you. Glad you are taking back your space
ReplyDeleteYay for paint! And good cries and a fit of anger here and there are part of the process are they? Can't wait to see your beautiful new bathroom!
ReplyDelete