New Families

As I am accustomed to, we have many deep conversations doing every day mundane activities.

The other day I was out pushing the kids on the swings when Maya began talking about my and Shaun's upcoming wedding after asking why grandma and papa don't spend the night anymore.  (They stayed for over a month after Chris died).  I went on to explain I needed a lot of help then because I was very sad and had two kids who needed lots of love.  She went on to comment on my "other husband" dying.  She then chattered on and I listened intently, always trying to monitor where her thoughts have been and where they are going so I can help her navigate the road only to be suddenly stopped in my tracks.

"And Chris is going to have a new family too."

Huh?

I simply said, "What, sweetie?" attempting to swallow back the tears in my voice.

"Chris is going to get married to and have a new family too."

"Chris, your daddy?"

"Yup!"

My heart skipped a beat, sweat beads appeared on my forehead and my voice caught in my throat.

"Maya, we are his family, even if he isn't here.  He isn't going to get married to anyone else in heaven or have any more kids.  You are the lucky ones.  He's still your daddy and you're still his daughter no matter where he is...even in heaven.  Daddy's life in heave isn't like our life here."

It was silent and I tried to catch a peak of her face as she swung back and forth in front of me. I'd like to say I saw relief, but I couldn't catch a look long enough. 

"Oh.  Will you push me super high?"