How Does She Do It?

Usually you can find me fluttering about my home, June Cleaver style, in my dress and heels working patiently to keep my home, my man and my kids happy.

Or you will find me trying to convince my 2 1/2 year old son to put his underwear back on and he runs around me making comments about his penis and the poop he left in the toilet.

Maybe you will find me cleaning poop out of my other 2 1/2 year old's underwear...she is taking less kindly to potty training now.

Perhaps instead you will find me discussing poop with my almost 5 year old who has been struggling with painful constipation which is only recently undercontrol.

I'm pretty sure June Cleaver didn't talk about poop as much as I do.  I spend an exorbitant amount of time in the bathroom, wiping little bootys, plunging toilets, discussing the goings on of the rectum.  It's a glamorous life, really, mostly done in my yoga pants and sweatshirt sans the heels.

Ok, that's not what I intended to write about but as I opened the window to blog, my son was refusing to retrieve his underwear from the bathroom.

What's on my mind?  How to love again.

It's such a difficult subject to explain.  Love the first time...sans kids, sans dogs, sans house and the weight of being widowed is a far different experience than love filled with the adventure of kids, dogs, house, families, ex wives, and all the extended family and friends involved.

I suppose I should explain, I wasn't looking for love.  I wasn't even positive my heart was open to it.  I was lonely and looking for a little adventure, maybe a date, maybe a few dates, maybe a disaster and the realization I wasn't ready.  Instead I found Shaun.  He wasn't sure he was ready to date either, ha!  He was going to go on a date before he left for 3 weeks but we had to cancel at the last minute.  Instead I found a friend then a love... we talked, emailed and texted for 3 weeks before our first in person encounter and it was a total of 4 weeks before he was home.  It was a different whirlwind adventure which I loved.

The reality of love the second time, in our situation is there is drama, ha!  It's taught us to be patient, understanding and we realized very, very early on that our communication skills needed to be strong.  Our life entails a plethora of entities ranging from ourselves to ex families to late families to those we aren't related to at all.  At the end of the day...there is love.  The willingness to work because Lord knows this ain't easy, and the willingness to look out for ourselves, our loved ones, our hearts and especially our kids.