Chris' favorite band was Social Distortion. I look at that sentence and can't decide if I should leave it in past tense....
Three days before Chris' died I convinced him to buy tickets to see Social D at the Showbox Sodo in Seattle. We bought 3 tickets. Chris, me and his best friend. I had never before been 'invited' to come so really it was a big moment and I was excited!
The tickets arrived in the mail a few days after Chris died and I was heartbroken....even more so when I had to sell the tickets because the benefit fundraiser which was put together by Maya's preschool was planned for the same night, February 11th. Luckily, I was able to buy tickets and sell mine so we could go the next night, February 12th. I needed to go.
In the days leading up to the concert I couldn't decide how I felt about it. I love the band but couldn't imagine going without Chris. At the same time, I wanted to go because I wanted to be able to imagine what it would have been like with him there. At the last minute I decided to stay overnight in Seattle since my kidlets would be at my parents house for the night anyway.
I am so lucky to have phenomenal friends to come with me. We met at a bar Chris would have loved, we had a few drinks and we enjoyed a great band. I loved it...even the drunk guys who kept trying to start fights around us. I kept imagining Chris there. I had fun but I missed him. In the end, it was also apparent how solo I am. I know his best friend kept an eye on me, but in the end, it was his wife he was looking after as it should be. Life is lonely when you realize this.
At the Life Tribute for Chris we played a song by this band called Reach for the Sky. In my heart I was pleading that they wouldn't play this song because I thought I would lose it emotionally. They didn't play it and as I got back to my room, I was a bit sad. I wanted to hear it. Chris' best friend recommended the song for the slide show and in the end, it depicted the way Chris lived his life, reaching for the sky. He lived life with gusto.
A little Social D for your viewing pleasure.
Chris. We love and miss you so, so much. Sabrina, I think it is wonderful that you went to the concert. I'm sure Chris was there with you the whole time enjoying his favorite band. Here is also to the good friends that were there by your side. Love and hugs
ReplyDeleteYou are amazing. Your willingness to put yourself in places and situations where you will be facing extreme emotions is inspiring to me--so courageous! Thinking of you.. always!
ReplyDelete