There are moments when eyes and heart deceive the brain to interject a false reality. In those moments the spoken word of truth often dissipates the fogginess to reveal what is true despite the desperate attempts of the heart to shield itself from the certainty of desolation on the pages where it hurts to look.
Truth.
I'm getting divorced. I've been getting divorced. Finalization of dissolution is imminent.
Perhaps if you're reading this and you hadn't noticed the absence, your chin dropped. More likely than not, you know or perhaps were at least mildly curious. I don't air my dirty laundry on Facebook or spend my days creating a false pretense by which to slam those with whom I am no longer. Instead, this reality, like many others, was mine to keep and the future wishes of happiness sincere.
Even now, details are moot as the reality has crept into existence.
I wish no ill will and do not long to make anyone's life miserable or laden with rumors. There is only truth and two people hold that key. For the rest of you, I hope you hold love, compassion and hope.
I have found this truth difficult and lonely. Fully does my brain realize this is my choice. I made this choice with a thoughtful mind and heart, however, my heart doesn't always agree with my brain in moments when I am lost in my stark white reality and wishing for a softening of the blazing sun as it sets yet my heart is lost in vast, gulping sobs of pain causing an utter faintness in my breath.
Here's to truth. Not a celebration of certainty but a step toward a softer reality.
